


Paris Got Run Over By a Reindeer

by ShayneyL



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Christmas, Filk, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 11:03:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12297891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShayneyL/pseuds/ShayneyL
Summary: A silly Christmas filk.Originally posted 15 December 1999.





	Paris Got Run Over By a Reindeer

**Author's Note:**

> To the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer." (Original song written by Randy Brooks, recorded by Elmo and Patsy.) 
> 
> I suppose technically this should have a "death of a major character" warning...but it's strictly tongue in cheek!
> 
> Characters and situations owned by Paramount/Viacom. Used without permission. No copyright infringement intended.

_Paris got run over by a reindeer_  
_Piloting a shuttle Christmas eve._  
_You can say there's no such thing as Santa,_  
_But as for me and Neelix, we believe._

He'd been drinking alien egg nog  
Till there wasn't any more.  
Then he couldn't pay his bar tab,  
So he took off in that shuttle at warp four.

When we found him Christmas morning,  
The whole shuttle was a wreck.  
There were hoof prints on his forehead,  
And suspicious piles of deer poop on the deck.

_Paris got run over by a reindeer_  
_Piloting a shuttle Christmas eve._  
_You can say there's no such thing as Santa,_  
_But as for me and Neelix, we believe._

Now our hearts all bleed for Torres,  
She's so grieved to see Tom go.  
See her chewing Chuckles' cheekbone,  
And pursuing Harry Kim with mistletoe.

It's not Christmas without Paris.  
All the crew is blue and sad.  
And we just can't help but wonder:  
What in heck will Captain Janeway tell his dad?

_Paris got run over by a reindeer_  
_Piloting a shuttle Christmas eve._  
_You can say there's no such thing as Santa,_  
_But as for me and Neelix, we believe._

Now the tree is in the mess hall  
And the leola root pies (eyewww!)  
And the blue and crimson candles,  
That remind us all of poor Tom's bloodshot eyes.

We've warned all the Delta Quadrant.  
Put your shields up all the way  
Prime your weapons and keep scanning  
For a pudgy, bearded alien in a sleigh.

_Paris got run over by a reindeer_  
_Piloting a shuttle Christmas eve._  
_You can say there's no such thing as Santa,_  
_But as for me and Neelix, we believe._


End file.
